The Human Heart - The Final Frontier

The Final Frontier

Most of us grew up hearing ‘Space the Final Frontier – These are the voyages of the Star Ship Enterprise’. But the other evening I was thinking about that, who knows how these thoughts come to us, and I realized that that space is really not the final frontier, the human heart is.

The heart is a universe of its own. It is a universe of infinite size and I believe one that is unobstructed and undiscovered at birth, one replete with potential. But with our first breath it starts to take form and shape. We build with all of those things that have hurt us, blessed us, made us glad, made us sad; day after day, year after year, we build this universe out of our accumulated emotional responses; one that is bigger on the inside than the outside. A concept C.S. Lewis so skillfully describes in many of his books.

The truth is that this woven universe of varied constructs is inherently weak and has very little strength to carry us through crises or troubles. It is always failing us and leaving us in need of more things to shore up the weaknesses. And in response we typically choose things like bitterness, hate, doubt, anger; these kinds of things; things that will not strengthen our heart but only add to its weakness and sudden and unavoidable failure.

Many times, just before the final fall, when we understand the desperate situation we find ourselves in, we go searching in vain for those things that can help us, or so we believe. Our lives become an ‘if only’ time; if only I can have this, or do this, or be with this person or that person, things will be all right. We realize, too late, our dreams have been stolen and every chance for good lost.

I remember once when I had gotten my car stuck on the side of the road in the wilds of northeastern Wyoming. Off in the distance I saw a light, that I assumed must have been a ranch. It required a hike across country, not roads. It seemed to take for hours, all the time the light did not seem to be getting any closer and I was growing tired and doubtful that any help would be there when I arrived. But eventually, with perseverance, I did, it was a ranch, and the fellow came and towed my car out and thanking him I continued on my way.

I digressed with that story because in our desperation we often find ourselves running rampant across the wilderness of our heart, looking for anything that will hold off the inevitable collapse. In the frantic rush we will see a light off in the distance and we have to decide, do we make our way toward the light or ignore it and continue our mad searching. If we do decide to journey towards that light it often is the same experience that I had in Wyoming. Time passes and the light seems the same distance as ever. But something is happening on the inside of us. Even if we won’t admit it we know we are growing in confidence and that we are going in the right direction.

So we journey on and finally we reach the source of the light. We find a small fire, warm in every way, our body is warmed and the heat penetrates our soul and brings peace and comfort. Sitting there at the fire is a man, unrecognized at first, but soon we know who it is because of some marks we see. He asks us to sit down and rest. “I have been waiting for you for a long time” he says. In that moment of willingness to rest and stay a while everything changes, everything becomes new.

--
http://bradnelsonryden.blogspot.com/

Psalm 34:5
Look to him, and be radiant;
so your face shall never be ashamed.

A Lust for Time and Place

New journey's, new times and new places.

"When I am alone in the half light of the canyon". Wait! No! Not that book! Even though 'A River Runs through It' does have the power to transport you to other places that is not the book or description of place I want to reference.

I have a store on Amazon.com where I list first editions for sale. In order to keep it suitably stocked I make the rounds with a few friends of mine to the local 'used things' stores on Friday evenings and Saturday mornings. Of late, with temperatures running over 100F consistently, the trips have become more a breeder of stress than a harvest of suitable books.

I had made the rounds Friday evening and returned home with a list of ISBN numbers that I looked up on an online appraisal service and found three or four books that I would return to buy the next day. My bottom line is $50.00, if I can't list a book for at least that amount I don't buy it. The mark up is good though, I have never paid more than $4.00 for any of the +$3000.00 inventory I have on Amazon. And they have started to sell. All of the books I wanted were at the first location we stopped at so for the rest of Saturday morning and early afternoon I was literally along for the ride.

A time ago I had seen the movie 'Under the Tuscan Sun'. I know it has a reputation of being one of the ultimate 'chick flicks', and maybe it is; but it has one other quality only found in the rarest of films. When it ends you wish it could go on and on; it can awaken memories and desires forgotten long ago; one would say it is almost sensuous in its possession, not a prurient sensuality, but a longing, a feeling of want and need for place.

Four months ago on one of my book buying outings I saw a copy of the book for sale and I decided to buy it. I started reading and except for the most minor of plot threads there was nothing you could find that made the book recognizable to the film. Except one thing; the same evocative sensuality was present in the book that I found in the movie, magnified a hundred times.

'Under the Tuscan Sun' was the book I decided to bring along with me yesterday, there were only 20 pages left for me to finish. There were four stops after the initial one where I made my purchases. With each stop I would turn the radio to an XM channel that played the kind of Jazz that I like and I would pick up the book and read; alone, with my companions heading off into the blinding sun and unrelenting heat

At the same time as I read I was experiencing a tranquility, well the only way to describe it, a person could purchase through the use of those things destructive and illegal. I was immersed in a small corner of Tuscany and allowed to experience with every sensual receptor of my being the logos (the written word) that became rhema (the written word come to life) that I read. I was actually, no I was there; feeling, tasting, touching, smelling, walking, listening and thinking all things; I was spent by the time I came home.

I had saved the last two or three pages to read for later. After a few hours I picked up the book and braced myself for the final ending; it was unstoppable and there was nothing I could do to prevent it. When it came I expected the same sadness that I experienced with the ending of the movie; it did not happen. I asked myself why and I realized that the restoration of the Tuscan heap that had become a home would never end. And I realized that the rebuilding efforts that exposed the years of neglect and that inspired the visions of renewal are the dynamics we do with our lives; the confession-renewal cycle in a different form. We labor to improve and strengthen what we have and to push and shove it into new directions we know we need to take.

Those things we value in our lives, our loves our friends, our surroundings are an exact mirror of the efforts referenced above. The strength that we build into our own lives becomes their strength. We are our brother's keeper. The final irony is that as we give ourselves to others, as we allow ourselves to meld into another's needs, our own need for strength and love are also given and met as well.

If you are judging people, you are too busy to love them.

June 11, 2008

Dedicated to many, but especially Kris and Arturo; two, even if unknowing, live a life on the altar and have not crawled off.

The temptation to do something when God says to wait and do nothing.

Greetings and Salutations

Today in the liturgical calendar the day is the Feast of St. Barnabas; you know, the man who was with Paul on his travels and ultimately was known for his ministry of encouraging others.

What follows may sound like some of my own horn tooting, but believe me it is not, I would never abuse God's graces like that. One day about ten years ago a prophet came to our church from Australia, Gordon Gibbs. I was called to the front and when he came to me he laid his hands on my stomach and just stood there, looked at my eyes, looked at my stomach and so forth. I thought to myself here comes the holy diet talk. But much to my surprise, even though the person next to me did get the diet talk, Gordon looked at me and said I would have two ministries. That I would 'birth' ministry and that I would be an encouragement to others. That Sunday evening still reverberates with me.

I have tried to live a life, sometimes successfully, sometimes not, that reflect those two graces and be available to God. Success has always been achieved to the degree that I stand out of the way and allow God to work through me, that I die daily. Add to all this I am always trying to be disponible (a Spanish word that has no English equivalent); to be both willing and available.

It's not rocket science. Henry Blackaby said that if you can see the need than probably God is calling you to help meet that need in other's lives or situations. It is a matter of saying 'here I am Lord, send me'.

Encouragement does not take a theological degree. Tom Messer used to be the Pastor of Mt. Zion Yuma. He has since retired and, as well, I have moved on. He said some things that had an anointing to them that I have never forgotten. One of the things he said was to 'trust the seed'. You can trust it when you plant encouragement, compassion or just love into people's hearts or sacrifice it into people's lives.

Of late I have contact with about 100 people on a regular basis. Of those maybe 10 are on a daily basis and the rest maybe two or three times a week. These have proven to be some of the most satisfying and wonderful relationships I have ever had. What ever the degree of contact it always amazes me to see the planted 'seed' take root and grow; I would not trade the experience for anything.

I also have to let the seed go; maybe its not my time to nurture its growth or see the harvest but I have to trust that God is in control and he will bring about the fruition of what has been planted. It says that one plants, another waters and another harvests. There is another dynamic at play here too that I don't think we realize. The seed we plant in others is also planted in our own hearts and gives us life.

Right now I am in a holding pattern, where God has me doing nothing. I wake up each morning and all I am told to do is read. If any of you really know me you know how difficult that is for me. I have been in these situations before and every time it was a season of preparation and new beginnings. This season will come to an end and God will take me on to a place he has prepared for me to serve him. Oh, I am not doing 'nothing' per se; but I am not out in active ministry. I am working on my book that I want to have finished this fall; the ministry of encouraging others continues and I have a few serious writing projects to work on. Soon though a bend in the river or a rise in the road will reveal a new road, a new destination; I want to be ready, I don't want to screw up and have gone on my own way. I need to be content to wait for his revelation. I need to be ready for others who will want to go with me.

I have come full circle in this blurb and I hope this encourages you today to be patient, that when you find yourself in times where you seem to have been put on the shelf to not worry. God knows where you are and trust that he is preparing you for the next chapter of life in his service.

During these times don't roll over and play dead. It is during these times more than others that you can become a warrior in prayer (Jeremiah 33:3), or encourage those around you of the love that God has for them; that he will never leave them or forsake them.

Paul said to redeem the time for the days are evil. We can't be ignorant of our responsibilities to love and sacrifice. Brad

Milton's poem - On His Blindness

On His Blindness

 When I consider how my light is spent
   Ere half my days in this dark world and wide,
   And that one talent which is death to hide
   Lodg'd with me useless, though my soul more bent
To serve therewith my Maker, and present

   My true account, lest he returning chide,
   "Doth God exact day-labour, light denied?"
   I fondly ask. But Patience, to prevent
That murmur, soon replies: "God doth not need
  Either man's work or his own gifts: who best

  Bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His state
Is kingly; thousands at his bidding speed
  And post o'er land and ocean without rest:
  They also serve who only stand and wait."

 -- John Milton

The Card is Dealt

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Greetings and Salutations

It is the middle of Spring and Summer is teasing us like a cat playing with a mouse before it lays on the mouse what cats do. A hundred degree day here, a hundred degree day there and soon it will be a constant with the added insult of the monsoonal humidity to send us fleeing to our air conditioned hiding places until the October break comes.

The movie ‘Brother Sun – Sister Moon’ is probably one of the best films around that encapsulate what the Kingdom of God is all about; a few others are ‘The Song of Bernadette’ and ‘Chariots of Fire’, there are others for sure but these three are the best.

There is a point in the film where God reveals the Kingdom to Francis. He is sitting in Mass and beholds a living Christ on the Cross not a dead representation. In this encounter he mouths no great revelations as he looks around at the opulence of his surroundings and also sees the contrasting struggle of the poor forced to gather in the back of the church. Looking around this created by men Kingdom that has totally covered and hidden God’s purposes and thoughts for mankind he simply utters one word: ‘No!’; and to the horror of his parents and the gathered ecclesiastical mob walks out of the church and proceeds to begin to live a life that becomes a revelation of how God calls us to live, in plain language; how to live a Kingdom life.

God has a lot of cards in his hand to get our attention. He weaves and guides our lives until we reach that ultimate point where we can see the Kingdom and make the choice to join or walk away at that point, maybe to have the choice to enter another day, maybe not. When God does play this hand of revealing himself and his Christ all of our excuses of saying we did not know are gone, absolutely and totally.

We have walked away from the life we were created for, a Kingdom life. No longer will we ever have the chance to say I never knew or have the chance to reach out to those in need around us; the poor, the sick, the weak and the lost who represent Christ and our opportunity to minister to him by ministering to others. Rejecting this revelation puts us in a no-man’s land where the only thing left is God’s mercy and justice. How long we are played between these two I don’t know, we can never judge another.

Choosing to live a surrendered life in God’s kingdom is a no-brainer. Everything that we are not God is. Everything we lack God possesses and will give us gladly and lovingly. All he asks is that we trade the rusting piece of cheap metal and plastic that is our own crown for his, not only to wear it but learn to live everything it represents. Don’t question your worthiness, if God has crowned you, who are you to call him a liar and say you are not worthy.

If he has not already one day, sooner rather than later, God will play his card and reveal the kingdom to you. If he has not yet then he is preparing you through the circumstances going on in your life to see it and give you the chance to embrace it when he does. Some of you indeed I know are in the midst of that process already and the card is in front of you. Don’t wimp – Embrace the Kingdom.

Have a good week. Love you all. Brad

This is a good blog link, there is a newsletter you can subscribe too as well as a book that you can download the .pdf file. If I ever do recommend a link to you remember it is only seasoning to your own communion with God, it is never the main course. http://subversive1.blogspot.com/

Giving Away our Gifts.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Greetings Folks:

Well this is the fifth time I have sat down to write this week’s blurb, and each effort has ended with me reaching for the delete button; the electronic equivalent of a wastepaper basket filled with crumpled paper. I realized that my failures were from complicating simple truths with my own thinking; I had forgotten one of my own rules, the kiss (keep it simple stupid).

I am, by background, an Anglican. At one point in the Communion Service the Priest stands facing the people with the bread and the wine and says “The Gifts of God for the People of God”. Epiphany of epiphany; our gifts are to be given and shared; if we don’t they rot.

I have a friend who lives in Central Mexico. He is a talented musician, singer and actor who finds himself at the beginning of his career; in that place where doubt, passion and daring all mix. It was not difficult to see that my friend had a passion for sharing his gift; to share his voice with others; but he wondered if anyone was listening. It says that a man’s gift will make a way for him. Our talents might provide for us, but our gifts provide us a life.

Embedded within the helical wonder that is our DNA God has planted talents that will only come alive if we give them away. God breathes into our talents a passion to share them; unfortunately many people spend their energies covering over that passion because of doubt and fear and never achieve any sense of satisfaction in their lives. If you want a life that has meaning you have to be willing to give things away. Giving and sharing our talent is a birthing process where they become gifts.

Take the leap, become passionate about the gift that is within you; give it, share it and watch it grow. Be a risk taker. Why? This is what it means to take a risk. It means you take a chance that everything you give away might be rejected or mocked. But it also means that in that risking and giving you may save another persons life the way someone else saved yours. If we are to lay claim to the power that God plants in each of us we must start taking a few chances and stop worrying what the outcome will be. God gave us everything and all he asks in return is that we do the same so another might live.

Beware of Pit Bulls

Greetings folks and fellow sojourners:

I am a blogger and so I read others of the same ilk, although I must admit, not many because I don’t like a lot of input beyond trusted friends and my Bible. One of those I read is by a blogger from France. On his page he has a function that translates the page into English. Some of the phrasing can come out humorous after passing through the online translator. In his blog that he posted on June 22^nd one of his thoughts translated out saying that he felt he was living his life in the ejector seat. I smiled; there is a lot of truth in this saying.

This would be a nice warm-fuzzy if this were his main point he was making but it was not. His main point was that in our lives we need to be at peace; peace being one of the fruits of the spirit. These two thoughts in juxtaposition really speak to me as a life lived in submission to the Holy Spirit. Especially when you consider that our life in the ‘ejector’ seat is one of not having or controlling the ejection button itself.

But isn’t that the life the Spirit is always calling us to; to be at peace even if we have no control over our lives, living a life that is not our own. My gosh that statement is almost un-American. But it is the word for this week. One worth meditating on and plumbing up to our own life and see where we need to adjust.

Note: CNN ran a series of reports on gay life in the USA today as it relates to religion. I was amazed at how unbiased the reporting was and how ‘balanced’. Remarkable using that word with CNN and not Fox. But what happened after each report was tragic. They threw it open to comments from two polemics, one on the fringe right, and one on the fringe left. It was like throwing prime beef into a cage of pit bulls. They sliced and argued the thoughts that had been expressed until they were unrecognizable.

This tendency to do this is a scourge of our age. Our television and radios are filled with words either from the idiots on the political-religious right or the paranoid-God in a box left. There is no room left for anybody to make their own opinion, to come to their own conclusions and give a thoughtful response. We have lost the vast middle ground that has insured for over 200 years a stable foundation for this country.

These fools, and I use that word with relish; the Limbaugh’s; the Lou Dobb’s, the Franken’s; the Ann Coulter’s and the Nancy Grace’s, and we can’t form such a list without the name of Howard Stern, are paid millions to supposedly speak for us and claim to be the voice of America. We used to elect our representatives, now we pay these gladiators to do battle for us. America is the worse for it. God help us.

You have a blessed week as we all seek God’s peace.

Brad

A Contemplation

I am so contemplative tonight, especially with you. I was reading the hometown (Erie, PA) paper tonight online and I read about the death of an old farmer. It re-birthed a flood of memories. When I was a child my best friend lived down the road about a half a mile away. From May to September the road was rutted with marks that recorded the numerous bike trips between our farms.

One of our frequent destinations was the farm of the man who died today. He had a swimming hole that was a wonder, just the right depth and size, and with just the right kind of tree, for a Tarzan rope that taught all of us courage and provided a summers worth of 'fun'. I learned so much at that place. Many of the things I learned were those things every young boy/man learns growing up.

I have contacted Jack twice in the last five years: the first time was when his father died, the second was the death of his brother. Now I will contact him again, and again because somebody died.

Two years ago I wrote a poem about missed opportunities. One day I need to gather these missives and see if they are worth any further consideration (publishing). I leave you with these few words as a cautionary tale for your own thoughts.

As ever, Brad

Reaching Out

Across the room
Struggling to meet in between
With eyes betraying hunger,
Surrendering to currents that
Bring us face to face.

Lips that would not speak,
Arms that would not reach
A heart I feared to share,
All I possessed and would not give,

I left, a poorer man.